Joyful Along the Way

I freeze. I hesitate.  I hold back. From the minute I walked into her office, I had a plan of how I would share things.  After all, I am a classic case "internal processor".  I think, edit, rethink, and then share.  As all good therapists do, Mirna asked me what brought me in to see her.  I began sharing bits and pieces of our son's life journey up to that point to help paint a picture for her to understand where I was coming from.  For her to help me process grief.  My plan, my agenda was to better understand grief to ensure I was able to do it "rightly".  Because Heaven forbid this perfectionist does anything wrong. Yet she surfaced deeper things in me than I would have ever imagined in those 45 minutes.  I left with a literal headache and no real answers (or at least answers I anticipated) to my motive for seeing her.  My head was spinning because she was so right.  She saw deeper.  The root of my question in the first place. You see, it's not that