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Happiness vs. Joy

I have not been very happy today. My 6yo seems to enjoy arguing with every.little.word I speak. Half our newly seeded lawn is weed infested and I’ve spent countless hours pulling to the best of my ability only to see little progress (and that’s just what the eye can see). Our youngest son’s heath continues to be unstable. I have laundry coming out my ears. I have a puppy that rings her bell yet walks around outside for 10 minutes only to not go to the bathroom and me bringing her back in only to have her ring her bell again two minutes later. I’m grouchy and don’t want to be around people. I want to escape to my room and enjoy a movie marathon while indulging in all my favorite foods. 

What’s wrong? I’m human. And some days I’m just tired and happiness is no where to be found.

Yes. Day-to-day life is filled with ups and downs of emotions. My emotions can sometimes be as swift and shifty as ocean waves. High highs and low lows, and happiness is one of them. 

So how can I be Joyful Along the Way? How can my emotions be on a lifelong rollercoaster yet joy remain steady? How can I be a total grouchy-pants mama yet experience joy? 

Simply put: Joy is different from happiness. Happiness is fleeting and sadly often misused for joy. It’s like a cheaper version of joy in some senses. Don’t get me wrong I’m a sucker for a good off brand, but no thanks to any off brand joy! You cannot exchange happy for joy or joy for happy and mean the same thing, despite any dictionary that equates them as synonyms. 

I remember first studying joy in college. Joy is a place of contentment (in the very least) even through the worst of days. It also includes elements of hope, peace, and delight no matter what is going on. It is rest in the most comfortable place possible, the arms of your Father, the creator of the universe while enduring the most uncomfortable of circumstances. Joy says “God is enough”. 



Often times it is easiest to see these fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc) when there is a greater contrast. When how you are doing buds right up against the most unlikely of circumstances in which once would expect to see you experience say joy, for example. I know this is how I have seen it in my life.

As our youngest son spent the first 5 months of his life in the NICU, Brandon and I would go to bed grieved over the weightiness and heartache of the life our sweet boy was enduring. Most nights I would cry and be so sorrowful. I don’t think I ever said then or have to this day, that I was happy he was medically fragile and in the NICU. I never had the fluffy feelings of happiness. Yet joy filled my heart in so many ways. It didn’t and doesn’t make sense. And that’s what Brandon and I would say to each other as the days came to a close. 

While happiness if fully dependent on our circumstances, joy is so much more. A quiet confidence in the Lord that brings assurance which leads to unspeakable joy IN HIM. See true joy is a fruit of the Spirit. It’s a work of God living in all believers. Resting in the truth of His sovereignty, knowing He is good and works for two things ALWAYS: His glory and the good of those who love Him. I rest here. This is what I lay my head down on every single night. This is joy. Because it’s not about my circumstances. 

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